ML:BW

17
May
Sometimes life catches up with you and you feel like you’re underwater. You wake up a half hour before your alarm, every day, and are out the door two hours later to spend nearly an hour and a half in traffic. Then you work for eight demanding hours. And sit in just as much traffic as you did that morning, listening to a book, to get home. Much of the time you try to cook dinner, clean up a little around the house and spend time with your husband. But the studio is being built in your basement and that takes priority, understandably. Even after your husband was away on tour for three weeks, there hasn’t been much time for the two of you because of aforementioned studio and all of the incredible people lending a helping hand. So, at the end of each day, you’re too tired to blog. You write ideas down on Springpad, but you’re too tired to follow through, or too busy, or both. And it results in a post like this, with an apology, and a question about whether or not anyone misses the regular updates? Who knows. Things will calm down and I will write more. This will have to do for now. How are all of you?

Sometimes life catches up with you and you feel like you’re underwater.

You wake up a half hour before your alarm, every day, and are out the door two hours later to spend nearly an hour and a half in traffic.

Then you work for eight demanding hours. And sit in just as much traffic as you did that morning, listening to a book, to get home.

Much of the time you try to cook dinner, clean up a little around the house and spend time with your husband.

But the studio is being built in your basement and that takes priority, understandably.

Even after your husband was away on tour for three weeks, there hasn’t been much time for the two of you because of aforementioned studio and all of the incredible people lending a helping hand.

So, at the end of each day, you’re too tired to blog. You write ideas down on Springpad, but you’re too tired to follow through, or too busy, or both.

And it results in a post like this, with an apology, and a question about whether or not anyone misses the regular updates?

Who knows. Things will calm down and I will write more. This will have to do for now.

How are all of you?

8
May

The Name Game

When Jay and I started talking about getting married, we took on the conversation of me changing my name almost instantly. When I was in my late teens I had made the decision that I would keep my last name. It took a long time for me to truly love it – I am sure you can imagine all of the names I was called as a child. Not to mention I am proud to be my father’s daughter and feel proud to carry his name.

But it is important to Jay that I carry his name, so I agreed to change it. Honestly, taking his name became important to me, too. Just as I am proud of my father, of being his daughter, I am proud of my husband and of being his wife. While I am yet to file the papers to make it official (soon, Jase, I promise!), I have started taking his name in my private life.

My professional life has been a different story.

I think that Ruchika Tulshyan’s piece for Forbes sums it up best:

Keeping your own last name after marriage is not about feminism anymore. Women are holding on to their maiden names because of their careers, especially if they work in the media, or other fields where they cultivate a brand name.

As a reporter I was published with my maiden name. I’ve been in PR for nearly a year with my maiden name. To me, it made sense to keep my name as is in this context. Naturally, several people disagreed with this train of thought (including my husband, I am sure) and think I am young enough in my career to make the change seamlessly.

So, what is a young, newly-wed professional to do?

Well, at least for me, I will be changing my name. Both personally and professionally. There is so much time for me to build my brand with my new name and it could even be an exciting adventure. I just hope that nothing crazy happens with Jay’s band that could circle back to me and tarnish my good, new name (I joke, of course). But I will also be keeping Paine as a middle name. I just can’t let it go.

So, fellow wives: did you decide to keep your maiden name or change it to honor your new husband and your new life? Future wives: will you be changing your name?

27
Apr

The Secret to a Happy Marriage via Samantha McGarry

My colleague Samantha McGarry wrote this lovely post and I thought you should all read it. I love seeing happy marriages and learning from them. I love her secret ingredient and feel like it’s one that is a must in the recipe for my own lasting marriage. Thanks for the inspiration, Sam!

This week, Devin and I celebrated our ten-year anniversary. Wow! Ten years.

When I said “I do,” to him back on April 25, 2002, it was with the conviction that I had found someone who matched me. I knew that being married to this guy would be fun. Of course, it would have its share of ups and downs, like any marriage. Naturally we’d bitch and moan at each other along the way. I knew there would be many things I’d do and say that would bug him – and that there would be many, many (did I say many ?) things he’d do that would seriously nark me. And then there would be all the other regular stuff that would interfere, sneak up, challenge, or freak us out. Like pets, work, no work, children, money, mortgage, fridges, religion, family, schedules and all that.

Of course we love each other. That’s a given. But the secret to what has kept this union sound, light-hearted, reasonable and fun is ….. silliness.

Read more…