ML:BW

14
Jun

Oh I’ll be the one who’ll break my heart I’ll be the one to hold the gun I love you more I love you more I don’t know what I knew before But now I know I wanna win the war No one likes to take a test Sometimes you know more is less Put your weight against the door Kick drum on the basement floor Stranded in a fog of words Loved him like a winter bird On my head the water pours Gulf stream through the open door Fly away Fly away to what you want to make I feel it all, I feel it all I feel it all I feel it all The wings are wide, the wings are wide Wild card inside, wild card inside ♥

18
May
I’ve had this stupid fucking writers block for so long. That choking fear that if you say too much, if you’re perfectly and completely honest, you will face too much ridicule or risk hurting others entwined in the story you’re trying to unfold. Something hit me tonight while I was reading this really honest, no holds barred novel by a woman I recently met. She uses language that I would be anxious about putting in my own work. Like, what if my FATHER read that? What would he think of me using such filthy language. Truth? I think he’d be proud that I stopped giving a shit about what others think of me. But, back to this riveting novel and inspirational writer — what she has done is blow me away. She has opened my eyes and broken down the blockade, eliminating so much of the fear that has stopped me. She gave me my starting point. Not only that, but I am finally starting to regain my balance, getting my head above the water and really breathing. Moving beyond some stressful situations at work and seeing Jay relax, even just a little, about the construction of Getaway, has allowed me to ease up myself. Tonight we went on a date. On this gorgeous New England evening, we went to a surprisingly cute area in Lowell and ate delicious barbecue. We held hands as we walked down the street. I barely remember what we talked about. It was just wonderful to get out, together, and enjoy that hour or so. It was the first real date we had been on since he came home from tour, and it was so desperately needed, for both of us. My advice, unsolicited, is that you need to find time to be with one another no matter what the hell is going on. Unless, of course, your partner is actually on the road. It’s important for the relationship and for the sanity of you both. Tonight my newly minted designer/Twitter friend Craig (@CraigNB) tweeted: “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must live.” Dear God did I need that tweet. I’ve felt like an insane person, living in someone else’s skin for the last two weeks. I finally feel like I am coming back to earth.

I’ve had this stupid fucking writers block for so long. That choking fear that if you say too much, if you’re perfectly and completely honest, you will face too much ridicule or risk hurting others entwined in the story you’re trying to unfold.

Something hit me tonight while I was reading this really honest, no holds barred novel by a woman I recently met. She uses language that I would be anxious about putting in my own work.

Like, what if my FATHER read that? What would he think of me using such filthy language. Truth? I think he’d be proud that I stopped giving a shit about what others think of me.

But, back to this riveting novel and inspirational writer — what she has done is blow me away. She has opened my eyes and broken down the blockade, eliminating so much of the fear that has stopped me.

She gave me my starting point.

Not only that, but I am finally starting to regain my balance, getting my head above the water and really breathing.

Moving beyond some stressful situations at work and seeing Jay relax, even just a little, about the construction of Getaway, has allowed me to ease up myself.

Tonight we went on a date. On this gorgeous New England evening, we went to a surprisingly cute area in Lowell and ate delicious barbecue. We held hands as we walked down the street. I barely remember what we talked about.

It was just wonderful to get out, together, and enjoy that hour or so. It was the first real date we had been on since he came home from tour, and it was so desperately needed, for both of us.

My advice, unsolicited, is that you need to find time to be with one another no matter what the hell is going on. Unless, of course, your partner is actually on the road. It’s important for the relationship and for the sanity of you both.

Tonight my newly minted designer/Twitter friend Craig (@CraigNB) tweeted:

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must live.”

Dear God did I need that tweet. I’ve felt like an insane person, living in someone else’s skin for the last two weeks. I finally feel like I am coming back to earth.

29
Feb

When I was 14-years-old I joined DeviantArt. It was an opportunity to share my poetry — yes, I was at one point some sort of poet — and keep track of other artists. Whilst browsing through photography, I came across an account called “larafairie.”

She just blew me away — and she was my age.

I admired her technique, the way she was able to take gorgeous photos, do hair and makeup, and then manipulate the photos into something utterly whimsical.

Lara still inspires me to this day. Not too long ago I even wrote a poem inspired by a photo of hers.

I hope you’ll read this interview with her on Rock N’ Roll Bride (also where these photos came from). Lara is a perfect example of someone who stuck to and worked hard on her art, and is now wildly successful because of her style, eye, and hard work.

Happy leap day, everyone!