My Life as a Band Wife

A while back, my friend (and fellow band spouse) Krissy referred to me as her Claudia Joy Holden. We are both big fans of Army Wives, so to me, this was a compliment of the highest.

As you know, I in no way consider what we go through as “band wives” to be the same as what Army wives go through. I couldn’t imagine needing to be strong enough to not hear from Jay every time he leaves, and not even know where he is, knowing that he could be killed at any moment. I have a lot of respect for the men and women that support their soldiers (however much I may not support war).

But the reality is, this is the closest thing to something I can relate to on television, and in a way, it gives me a lot of strength and serves as an excellent reminder.

I admire Claudia Joy’s character. She handles everything with grace, she stays strong and while she loves her husband and hates to see him leave, she understands his choice and supports him. Often times supporting him means sacrificing her own dreams.

Claudia Joy accepts that this is the life she chose. She supports other women who also chose the same kind of lifestyle and offers them a shoulder to lean on and someone to talk to.

Each time a new tour comes about, I do my best to maintain a stiff upper lip. I’ve gotten better at handling the news and giving my husband a kiss before sending him off on the road.

I do my best to listen to other wives and girlfriends in the same situation, and to provide advice when they need it. I have to say that I have been lucky to meet so many amazing women because of this venture. We’ve created quite the little community.

So, I think about Claudia Joy. This season you get a chance to see her human side, that the life is not always easy for her.

This life isn’t always easy for me.

I left my house at 8am, in tears, to go to work. I don’t know what it was about this particular tour, but having Jay leave was harder than it has been in a while. Maybe because we finallymoved into our house, and like the first few months of our marriage, we don’t get to experience it together. It seems that every big step we take in our relationship is followed closely by him leaving.

In a way, it is incredibly comical. In another way, it makes me (and him) a little blue. I’m feeling much better now, but it was a really difficult day.

Thankfully, I have an amazing support system. We had forced office fun after work and had a lot of laughs and great conversation. I was even able to laugh while my boss told one of our newer staffers that my husband is a “professional rock star.”

I’m lucky to have an office full of people that I know I can count on. Today was hard. I only wanted to be in my bed, with my dog, never to leave until Jay returns home.  

This weekend, my best friends are coming by to see the house, and I am so excited to show it to them. I’m excited to spend time with them, catch up on their lives, and know that I am in good hands.

P.S. The seedy underbelly of this blog helped me write a new post for work. Check out my four steps for coping with trolls.

This morning at work, my boss, Beth, walked around the office putting vases of daffodils on everyone’s desks. She and my other boss, Meg, had scheduled a special company lunch for today, which included a special surprise.

Nearly all 30 of us gathered around the conference room table, Panera sandwiches in front of us, as Meg and Beth told us how much they appreciate how hard we have all been working. They handed us each an envelope. Each one contained a token of their gratitude and a hand-written note explaining why they appreciate us.

I can’t even begin to tell you how touched I was.

A few months ago I had written a post with my thoughts on class — it isn’t about being physically beautiful or done up, but about being a good person and treating others with respect.

We have all been extra busy at work over the last few months. While that hard work has been incredibly rewarding, it has also been difficult. Meg and Beth consistently thank us for our hard work and let us know that they understand where we are.

Taking this extra step, to let us know, even if it had simply been flowers or a special lunch, was so incredibly classy.

I know that I gush about my job on this blog quite a bit, but working for these women inspires me so much each day. They are the living proof that women really can have it all — successful marriages, careers, and great relationships with their children.

I hope each of you has something that reminds you that the sky is the limit in your lives, as well.