Should we reject the term, “wife?”
Yesterday I found this great article that discusses the idea that women are less tied to being wives and define themselves by being mothers. The article calls into question the need for the term, “wife,” at all and, if we do keep it around, what the word should mean now that the traditional roles of husband and wives have changed.
This non-identity might be a victory if it meant that women have stopped defining themselves in terms of their external relationships rather than internal compasses, or that they have stopped setting impossible standards for themselves, or they have ceased comparing themselves to others. But actually, they have merely found another measuring stick, another dominant identity. The role of wife has been eclipsed by the role of mother. Women no longer define themselves by the happiness of their husbands, but by that of their children.
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What I find most interesting is that both women reach the same conclusion for opposite reasons; today’s wives, they agree, are less defined by the role than were their mothers. In fact, we are barely defined by the role of wife at all. We’ve quite rightly erased most vestiges of what the word used to mean, but have not found a vibrant, robust definition of what should come to mean instead. — Lisa Belkin; Huffington Post
I can’t see why we should reject a term when we have the opportunity to redefine it, over and over again, each and every year, every day, whether we are male or female. Like gender roles, the term, “wife,” can mean what we want it to mean.
Words are only as important as the meaning we put behind them.
Being a wife is an important part of my identity (obviously), though it is not the only part of my identity.
I strive to excel in my career and to be an asset to my employers.
I am a blogger who wishes to share her life experiences with others in a similar position and perhaps offer assistance along the way.
I am a student of spirituality who hopes to learn something new about the world and herself every single day.
I am a sister, a daughter, a cousin, a granddaughter, a daughter-in-law, a sister-in-law and a friend, who hopes to be there for the people she loves to the best of her ability, whenever they should call upon her.
And of course, I am a wife.
Being a great wife is incredibly important to me, which is why I read so much about it and try to share the things that I learn with all of you. In my role as a wife I am a partner, a sounding board for my husband, a best friend and a lover. My husband may bring home the bacon, but I bring home the eggs and we both cook up our respective dishes.
We share chores and stories, laughter and tears. I take care of him when he is ill and he does the same for me. Sure, I plan meals and execute my plans. I try to make sure that my husband is on top of things if it seems he has forgotten.
I support him when he goes on tour, or when he gets a project that takes him to the other side of the world. I do the best I can to do my share in our relationship and to be the best wife and partner that I can be.
You know what? He does the same and supports me in my dreams, my endeavors and my choices. It is give and it is take.
To me, sharing my life with the man I love, finding happiness in him and, just as importantly, in myself and my own abilities is, for me, what it means to be a wife.
What does it mean to you? Does it matter? Should we eliminate the word “wife” altogether?
[Icon from inspirationfeed.com]
