My Life as a Band Wife

Lent comes but once a year for even the most devout Catholic, but for Watertown’s Danne Dzenawagis, it has become a way of life – despite being a self-described “lapsed Catholic.”

Like many of us, Danne Dzenawagis makes New Year’s resolutions that she has a hard time keeping, but she has taken her effort online in the form of a blog, which recently was nominated for an award from a national magazine.

In 2008, the 27-year-old East Watertown resident made the decision to take her resolutions and devote an entire month to each one. Raised as a Catholic, Dzenawagis has always given up something for lent because she “likes the challenge of giving something up.”

“There were so many things I wanted to do and I didn’t know how I would be able to get them all done, so I broke them down into something manageable,” Dzenawagis said. “It’s a good way to discipline yourself.”

Read more on Watertown Patch!

As many of you know, before I got into PR I was a reporter for the Watertown TAB. Well, I loved Watertown — and reporting — so much that I wanted to keep writing when I could. I’ve been lucky to work with Patch editor Charlie Breitrose who is letting me contribute to Watertown Patch.

Danne has a really cool blog, and I hope you will read my story and let me know what you think!

Laura ♥

Hello to all my new followers — and thank you! I would love if you’d leave something about yourself in my ask box! Noons ever does, but it can’t hurt, right?

and bought www.mylifeasabandwife.com

So now it is just that easy if you want to visit my blog. You will notice that the ask button is easier to access, too!

Thank you all for your continued support and for sharing with your friends. I appreciate it more than you could know.

Laura ♥

I hope that all of you are having as lovely of a Thanksgiving break as I am. I had a fantastic first married Thanksgiving with my husband and family (post on this, sort of, later). I have eaten several delicious meals, some of which I cooked, so I thought I would share these meals with you.

Remember how I told you that some how my wedding cake got dropped? Well, Willowdale not only reimbursed us for the cake, but was kind enough to give us a gift card to Hungry Mother in Cambridge. This restaurant works with local, sustainable food and gives each dish an elegant, southern twist. One of the owners brought us our wine (2009 Benmarco Malbec — chocolatey, hints of coffee, really well rounded) and told us that he and the chef opened the restaurant together. The chef is of southern descent and felt that the hokey, southern barbecue restaurants really doesn’t do southern cuisine justice. 

Let me tell you, they’re absolutely right. We started with the skillet cornbread, BBQ Lamb Confit, and Rock Shrimp & Grits. Jay said the cornbread, complete with a sweet sorghum butter, is the best he has ever had. While the confit was really tasty, my favorite of the appetizers was the Rock Shrimp & Grits. The grits were really well done and the tiny shrimp were nicely cooked.

For dinner, I had the French Gnocchi for dinner, which included bacon, brussels sprouts, shemeji mushrooms, and sweet potato mousse. I had never had brussels sprouts before, and I sure did enjoy them. The sweet potato mousse was a delightful and delicious addition to this meal — which I highly recommend if you visit the restaurant. I did not try Jay’s Southern Pork Cassoulet, but he said it was exceptional.

The dessert was really special, though. The owner asked us how we heard about his restaurant, so we told him the story about our cake. After we ordered the Butterscotch Pot De Creme (the popcorn brittle topping made this dessert), he brought it out, along with a slice of their maple-pecan upside down cake. He told us that he wanted to make up for the fact that our cake was dropped.

Here is the honest truth about this cake: it was better than our wedding cake. The topping was just perfect and the cake melted in your mouth. We were so grateful he brought the cake out, because it was actually better than the dessert we ordered in the first place.

The atmosphere is clean, elegant and quirky, and the weight staff is skilled and friendly. It isn’t a cheap night out, but is definitely worth the money. It should be noted that we got the BenMarco for $40 that night but it was only $17 at our local liquor store.   

As for the meals that I’ve cooked…

Read More →

Last year for Thanksgiving, Jay and I were in Washington spending the holiday with his family. It was the first time I met his grandparents, great grandparents, uncle, cousin, and aunt. I felt at home and, while I missed my family, I had a really lovely time. The dinner was amazing, the company even better, and I was even included in the family game.

The next day, we went to Seattle, shopped, grabbed sushi, and got engaged. I thought back on that day with such a full heart as I finished writing my thank you notes from the wedding (I’m sorry, I know it’s late. But they’re done and will be in the mail Friday). It was perfect, just as our wedding day was.

2011 has been amazing. I married the best man on earth, I got an exciting new job and career, I’ve started writing again and learning how to cook. I have a great circle of friends and an incredibly supportive family.

I mean, what other parents would let their 24-year-old married daughter move back into their house (temporarily) without it being related to a pending divorce? Yes, that’s right, unless conditions improve or we can move into dream house by Tuesday, I will likely pack up my bags and the dog and head up to the woods to avoid my horrible, no good, very bad roommate while Jay is in Europe.

Anyway, I’m excited that my husband and I have made some real strides toward buying dream house. I’m excited that we are moving forward at full force. We certainly haven’t wasted any time.

I’m excited about my pending doctor appointment and truly hope they can find a way to help me heal, not just mask my relentless symptoms. I’m thankful for my massage therapist who actually gets me, and for my “fairy godmother” — another aspect of my life that maybe, some day, I will share with you.

I’m thankful that I live in a nation where the best healthcare is possible. I’m thankful for my husband, family, friends, dog, job, and colleagues. I’m grateful for all of the things that inspire me every day.

I’m thankful to those of you who continue to read my blog and support me, for the people that listen to and love Defeater. You make every single day of my life — our life — possible.

I hope you all have an amazing day with the people you love the most.

Laura ♥

That day, I even made the seamstress cry.
She said she’d never seen a sadder bride.

The pins fell out as I slumped
Deep down into the dressing room chair,

Barely able to breathe, or see,
As I realized there is no one there

To help me up from that chair.
Or out of my dress. 

Just the sympathetic seamstress.

She said she’d never seen a lonelier bride
As she wiped the tears from my eyes

And as she slipped me out of my dress,
I swear I heard her sigh,

She told me she hoped the groom was waiting at home
To help me stay dry.

I write poetry. I’ve been too scared to share it for a long time. With Sophie’s encouragement and after reading a truly inspiring post from a woman I follow here, I thought I’d open up, too. Be kind, please.

I finally have my husband back. For a little while at least! He leaves next week to go to Europe, but for now, we’ll just enjoy eachothers company.

Notes from my weekend “out with the band:”

• The Worcester show was amazing, even if the staff at the Palladium is insane. They tried to keep Alyssa from joining me on the side of the stage and told Seth that he wasn’t allowed with us. I mean, Seth basically owns Defeater, and you’re going to tell him he can’t be on stage with us but Pat Flynn (Have Heart) has the OK? It was a little bit insane, but all worked out well.
• Joe has been killing it on drums. He’s definitely getting everything down and is fun to watch.
• The Poughkeepsie show was interesting. Defeater played well and got a really great response. I got to be amused by a kid yelling, “Occupy Defeater,” and these three girls, all of which were wearing low-cut black tops, competing with one another to get Derek’s attention. One of them even pulled her shirt down so far at one point that her zebra-print bra was showing. I always forget that girls can be like that. It was really quite the spectacle.
• It was nice to get to see Bane after so many years.
• I love the dudes in Miles Away and wish they lived closer.
• I can’t believe how many people like All Time Low. I can’t believe that they have prettier hair than me. They played the same night as Defeater in Poughkeepsie and the line was out the door crazy.

Now, I call it “my weekend with the band” because Jay and I never ride in the van with everyone else and always find a nice, clean hotel room to stay in. Look, I am not the touring type, and neither is he. We like to stay in a nice place and have independence from the rest of the group.

It was so great. We watched shows about flipping houses and hoarders, and we got to spend so much time catching up — despite him being really sick — on the drive to New York. There is always a period of adjustment when you’ve been separated for an extended period of time, so it was exactly what we needed.

Sunday we went to take a look at the house I found in Stow. We had lunch in Maynard at The Halfway Cafe, which was pretty good, and a short trip from the house. We were lucky to have my step-mom, Sarah, and my aunt and cousin there. They all thought the house was great.

Only trouble? The barn isn’t quite big enough to accommodate the studio. Or at least that’s what we thought the only problem with the house was. After the real estate agent left, the neighbor came over to give us the skinny with the house.

She is a couponer (and informed us that Extreme Couponing doesn’t do real couponers justice) and a gardener. She told us that the house was owned by a flipper and had been re-done after a family of hoarders had been foreclosed upon.

Seriously, I can’t make this stuff up. We spent the whole weekend watching those shows and then we find this out about my dream house. There were a couple of other things we would have to get looked at and expansion to the barn would have to happen.

When we left, Jay said he loved the house but thought we should keep looking. Until we got home and he met our new roommate.

Notes about our new roommate:

• We got home and the entire house (still) smelled like pot.
• Jay confronted roommate about the pot and he came out of his room in teeny-tiny boxer briefs to tell us that while he did smoke, he smoked outside and doesn’t know why the house smells like pot. I told him it didn’t smell like burned pot. He said he doesn’t know why the house smells like pot and then goes back into his room, giving no indication he is going to remedy the problem.
• Started playing bongo while we were upstairs. I looked at Jay and said, “See, I told you.”
• While Jay and Jake were unloading the trailer, Jay picked up a silver sparkly headband that had been left on the hood of his car and said, “I come home and find shit like this.” Roommate comes back from wherever he was, asks Jay if the headband is mine. Jay says no and roommate says, “I think it belongs to my girlfriend,” and takes the headband inside.
• Jay comes inside and roommate says, “Is that truck out front yours?” Jay says no and that it belongs to Corey. Roommate informs Jay that he put his bike in the back of the truck. Jay looks at him, bewildered, and tells him that if he wants to keep his bike he should probably get it out of the truck. Roommate says he didn’t know if he could keep it in the basement. Jay tells him to bring it downstairs and they’ll figure it out. Roommate brings it downstairs and leaves it directly in the middle of the control room.

What? WHAT?! How are these things real and how are they our lives? So Jay went into hyper-drive and started finding ways to make the flipped hoarder house work. It’s very likely we will try to make a few deals with the owner and put in an offer. Enough is enough.

That, my friends, is my update. I took pictures at the shows but they’re really terrible. If any of you were at the shows and took pictures, please leave links in my ask — I’d be happy to share them! Also, what did you guys think of Joe as a drummer? I’d love to hear what you think!

Laura ♥